Talk about clever and to the point!
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD)
is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of
make or year, due to a serious defect in the
primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original
prototype units code named Adam and Eve,
resulting in the reproduction of the same defect
in all subsequent units.
This defect has been identified as
"Subsequent Internal Non-morality,"
more commonly known as S.I.N.,
as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7.. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable
nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory-authorized repair
and service free of charge
to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician,
JESUS,
has most generously offered
to bear the entire burden
of the staggering cost of
these repairs.
There is no additional fee
required.
The number to call for repair in all
areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected,
please upload your burden of SIN through
the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next,
download ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is,
Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self-control
Please see the operating manual,
the B.I.B.L.E.
(BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the
human being unit without correction voids
any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit
to dangers and problems too numerous to list,
and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded.
For free emergency service,
call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not
responding to this recall action will have to carry the consequences. The SIN defect will not
be permitted to enter Heaven so as to
prevent contamination of that facility - it will have to be replaced by L.O.v.E.. Thank you
for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by
notifying others of this important recall notice,
and you may contact the Father any time by
'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Working for God on earth doesn't pay much...but
His retirement plan is out of this world!
